Friday, May 23, 2008

And you can't make me.

Skipping ahead again.

It appears I'm hysterectomy bound, though we're not yet sure about the timing, and I'm scared.

I'm not scared of the anesthesia, the complications, the potential that any surgery could end poorly or worse...with a fatality. Nope. Yes, those things are all worth considering but I figure I can't do anything about them really and in that way I am able to let them go.

No, what bothers me is the question of whether I'll be allowed to keep my son with me in the hospital during the recovery period. That probably sounds stupid. Still, it doesn't change the fact that I know nursing will be much easier on me than pumping during the couple of days I'd have to stay in the hospital and I know that I could make it work to have him with me, if we do this soon.

I know it's likely going to be suggested that I not have him with me. That I let someone else watch him for a couple of days. The thing is, I just can't. I won't. And if it comes down to it, I'd take waiting longer with this thing they are still calling a uterus than give in on not being able to nurse him for a few days.

After everything we've been through, I don't want him out of my sight for that long, I don't want to go without nursing that long. I just don't want to.

4 comments:

MommaLlama said...

Goodness gracious, when did you find this out?

--S

Anonymous said...

Not sure I've ever posted here before, so apologies for the abrupt delurking, but, uh, makes perfectly good sense to me. And I'd think the doctors (and hospitals) that provide hysterectomies might not be too very far from those that deal with issues like, you know, birth and post-partum, so having a baby around shouldn't be an insurmountable problem (I know, I know, tell it to the bureaucrats).

Anonymous said...

Alex is on the right track. In the small local hospital my mom works at woman who get hysterctomies are often (perhaps always there..)placed on the post-partum floor. Those nurses are the ones who know the most about that area. Not sure how the nurses would feel about it, but the baby supplies would be close at hand if this were the case at your hospital. Your son obviously would not be able to be in the nursery at all, but the nurses are surely comfortable enough around infants.
Good luck to you.

Carrie said...

Oh, dear. Hope things are going OK. Update us when you can.