Monday, February 11, 2008

He won't be the little for long.

My husband has suggested that the end of the little's time with supplemental oxygen (coming this week, hopefully) should also bring about another change. The move to the crib in his room or at least putting the bassinet in his room.

The very thought put me into a panic of illogical proportions.

My husband means well. His thinking is that it would be better for everyone. More room in the living room (where the bassinet currently resides), less need for our daughter to be quiet when he's napping, etc. I think he's forgetting that our daughter slept close to us and in the bassinet for months, not weeks, and the little is just going to be a month old on Thursday.

For the record, I get his line of thinking...but. I don't ask our daughter to be quiet or whisper, just not to scream while he's sleeping. I don't think that's unreasonable, and even when he is in his room there are times she'll need to be quiet. Frankly, the need for her not to scream has more to do with my reaction to it than the baby's.

I've considered asking our pediatrician to recommend we keep him close...our pedi has done that for me before - listened to concerns I had and then addressed them later in the form of a recommendation. One stellar example was when I explained that my daughter didn't seem ready to stop nursing at a year old and I wasn't in a hurry to wean her, so he suggested we stick with it while my husband had that AAP guideline of a year written in his concrete thinking.

Then I got to thinking about how silly it is for me to be thinking of asking him to recommend something when I could just as easily say "I'm not ready for that. I need him closer, for my own convenience while nursing, so I don't have to move the monitor receiver around all the time, because he's still so, so tiny and I'm still so, so freaked out over how close we were to losing him." It ultimately boils down to me being afraid of losing it and bawling as I explain my reasons. I'm so worried about seeming....what? Overemotional, overprotective, really freaked out? I don't think any of those labels apply, and I know what I really need to do is explain why I'm not ok with the change et and I'm sure it will be fine.

And, whether I admit that a lot of it has to do with the fact the little is my last baby and I'm trying to hold on to every second --- that remains to be seen.


Carrie said...

My vote is for that last reason. :) At least a little bit. But what's wrong with that? They're only little for a short time... enjoy it while you can! I can't believe he's almost a month old already!

Claire said...

Our men don't always see things with the same emotional value we do. To him, it's a practical consideration and he probably isn't even thinking about how long your first spent in your room. They simply don't always (ever?) see things the way we do.