Friday, August 15, 2008


My nephew is going to be ok. By late last evening they'd been able to turn his oxygen down half way, he was breathing a bit better and they were hoping to have him completely off oxygen by late this afternoon. My SIL is hoping he'll be able to go home then,and I am too, though I know there's a possibility they'll want him for one more night. She did say he's now (lunchtime today) down to a third of the oxygen they were giving him, and he'll need to be off of it for 4 hours AND keep his saturation up before they let him go home.

We're grateful for all prayers and good thoughts, and hope he'll be home soon. They've decided it's something viral, that he must be more succeptible to this stuff, and they'll prescribe some medications and a nebulizer for home use for a while until he hopefully outgrows this tendency.

Several times I've started to write something about what happened last night, after the kids were asleep and my husband was off helping a friend. I tried to write how yesterday brought about memories and flashbacks more severe than the ones I'd been having already. I sat on the living room floor and cried, open mouthed and loud, until my eyes were puffy and I had the hiccups. Until my shoulders were heaving and the cats were looking at me like a creature from the lagoon.

I tried to write about how and why that meltdown happened, and my hopes that it was the beginning of getting over some of this. Nothing came out right, though.

Today I feel like a raw nerve, yet again. On the verge of tears from the moment I woke, I'm trying not to worry that means there's been a setback (I know realistically it's just an emotional hangover). I'm tired from little sleep, thanks especially to my own congested little man, and I must have overdone it yesterday because I am sore hysterectomy wise again. (post about that coming soon).


HSA said...

Just found your blog recently. I am struck by your description of how you were feeling last night. 4 years ago I had a very traumatic experience(physical & emotional) with the birth of my son. I spent many nights similar to what you have described. I finally figured out (with some help) that I had symptoms of Post-traumatic stress disorder and went to get some help. I just want to encourage you that it is possible to feel better and there might be a name for all that is going on. Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks are a key indicator. I went to a psychologist who was experienced in PTSD. We did cognotive-behavioral therapy and it was tremdously helpful. I can now talk/think about his birth without reliving the trauma and celebrate the crazy 4 year old he is. With my thoughts, prayers & hope.

JuliaS said...

I am very glad to hear your nephew is improving. Hope it continues and he is home now.