Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Making Room for the Miracle

Sounds a lot better than saying I'm clearing out the spare bedroom, doesn't it?!?!

Still, its the truth as I know it. I've spent several hours lately clearing out things I no longer need, want or think I'll get around to using anytime soon. I finally tossed out my chemistry lab books, as I no longer believe I need to hold onto them as proof that I once could compute formulas with the best of them. I also no longer believe anyone would care enough to want proof.
Clothes that are too small, too big, too old, too outdated....gone. Papers, books, craft supplies.....sorted, weeded and either filed or eliminated. I'm making room.

Room for what? Miracles of varying shapes and sizes.
I'm making room for myself and hoping to create a sacred space......instead of an office. A place where I can meditate, do my card readings and just feel comfy.

I'm making room for a bigger house. The last time I packed, sorted, stored away the things I wouldn't be using but need to keep in neatly labeled boxes.....things fell into place for selling our old home and buying this one. I'm making room so we can rent this house and buy another.
I'm making room for my baby, my biggest miracle. I'm shifting my focus to something else, and preparing for a time when I won't want to do a lot of heavy lifting. I gathered the quilt, books and few other things I've picked up or been given to me for my child and put them in a box marked with a "B." Not to forget about them or give up hope on conceiving, but because that is the first box that will go in the nursery in our new home. I'm sure of it.

Going through this stuff has shown me the things I've held onto, and given me insight into the reasons and the things I've held onto and didn't even realize it.

I found a picture of my hubby and I, taken several years ago, still in its broken frame. Before we were married, he did something awful. The day I found out about it.....I threw that picture onto the front lawn. He said when he found it, he thought I would never forgive him. I have, but I've never rehung that picture. Last night I bought a new frame for it. When hubby saw it, he cried. He'd told himself that unless that picture reappeared, I'd never fully forgive him for what happened.

I'm clearing out the old stuff. Making room for the miracle.

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